"You have gained weight."

I arbitrarily decided to wait until the 8th time I was told this to blog about it. That was yesterday. It's amazing to me that they can even tell. It's like they have a calorie radar built into their eyeballs.

I hitch-hiked home from Molepolole today. Its not only common here, there is a set national rate for hitch hikers to pay their driver. As we got closer to University of Bots I noticed he had an open bottle. Oh dear! Its just like that psycho educational course I taught last month. "What should you do if you notice the driver of your vehicle is drinking?"

I made casual conversation while judging his reaction time to impending problems in the road. I found that minus the slurred speech, he was effortlessly guiding the car around Gabs. This is more than I can say for most sober drivers here. He dropped me off at the UB campus bar and bid me farewell. He refused to take my money even saying, "Oh but if I see you that side (USA), you can do the same for me." Oh Africa, I'm going to miss you so much when I am gone!

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My orthodontist's name was Dr. Pitts

Isn't that funny?
It still is to me, 10 years later.

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Spending time in my head

Sometimes I spend time in my head narrating my life to myself.

Then I give my life imaginary headlines like, "No one knew she had owned the shirt for two years and hadn't worn it once. Even though it was one of just 5 shirts she brought to Africa, she still hadn't found a place to wear it. There weren't many places one could wear an insect repellant shirt, but if there was one place in the world to wear it, it was the delta. It had no business being white when it was an outdoors shirt anyway. She wasn't sorry she owned it when she saw this picture. White seems to be a great color on most people."

Whenever this happens, I know its been too long since I've had sustained social interaction. Which is why tonight we decided to have a party to say goodbye to my roommate Amelia at church. It was fun, yet I was still glad the bishop kicked us out of the church by 10.

""Dang!" she thought, "I'm doing it again, even after the party." She thought of bed, and how her back still ached from the thin smashed mattress. With that thought she decided she needed to stop caring if her post was funny or not. Funny was just a life long pursuit she had in mind, not the missing sentence in her blog."

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Okavango Delta

The delta is a swamp in the Kalahari where most of Africa's water ends up and then evaporates away. Crocs, hippos, Zebras, Elephants, Lions, and you know... different kinds of deer with fancy names like Impala and Wildebeast. About 70% of the islands in the delta began as termite mounds. They get around in Makoro boats. Think itlay, but without the gelato, architecture, and roman catholic church.

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900 million liters per second

Victoria Falls from a helicopter.

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YogH*urt (*Brittish spelling)

Follow up post to 'Chicken Licken': I decided to eat some yogHurt to calm my troubled bowel from the free spicy hot wings I ate yesterday.

As I sit here on a Sunday night, carefully enjoying the remains of my tropical yogHurt, I feel a deep sense of impending loss. If you have ever fallen for foreign yogHurt, you know what I am talking about. In a month and a half, I'll be back in the US eating Yoplait, Activia or Albertsons brand yog*urt (*no H). Thinking about choking down another creamy and 4 inch tall Yoplait makes me feel like I have chalk in my throat. The pretend sensory imagery I produced in the previous sentence gives me more than enough reason to produce this tantrum.
Almost anyone can tell you, the tastiness, texture, flavor, and versatility of YogHurt puts it at an unparalleled level above processed yog*urts (*no H) of the US. American yog*urt is just no good. What is with that? If I want a delicious bacterial fermented dairy product, I shouldn't have to shop at international stores or travel to Germany for brunch.
I secretly wonder if the US producing yog*urt companies got together to push for blobier and less delicious yog*urt, waxier chocolate, plether jackets, and the continued use of the American Standard measuring system. You don't hear of many yog*urt addicts back home. Just saying... there might be a reason. There are so many wrongs to right in this world.

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